From Confusion to Clarity: Relationship Symbolism

Hey, this is Ben Cassaani. Today, I wanted to share a simple yet powerful pattern I noticed while coaching a client that I found very insightful.

This approach can help you take something very complicated and make it very simple, allowing you to make progress in addressing complicated issues in your life.

Identifying the Function of Relationships and Situations

For example, let's say you have a challenging person in your life—a boss, a lover, a friend, a family member, a child. These situations often feel very complicated and confusing, especially when multiple people are involved. You might wonder,

Q: "How do I address this situation? How do I succeed here?"

The key first step is to step back and look at the function of your relationship or the situation.

Q: Ask yourself, "What is the symbolic function of this relationship?"

It could be that you're in a romantic relationship, a parent-child dynamic, or a business decision context. By identifying the function, you can merge your understanding of the external situation with an internal perspective.

Turning Inward: Empowerment Through Self-Reflection

We often focus on external problems, thinking they only reside outside of us. Instead, we can turn inward to find the hidden gold. When we do, a new kind of empowerment happens. Take a loving relationship, for example—whether it’s between boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, or partners. You're living together, married, dating, divorced, or separated. All those different situations boil down to the function of a lover relationship.

When faced with relationship challenges, zoom out to understand the function. Next, reflect on what parts this relationship represent inside you. Tony Robbins often speaks of masculine and feminine energies, or yin and yang. This isn't about being male or female physiologically but about the types of energies you gravitate towards. Recognizing that you possess both yin (nurturing, emotional, indirect) and yang (direct, logical, forthright) energies within you can be transformative.

When faced with relationship challenges, zoom out to understand the function.

Integration of Masculine and Feminine Energies

You might be caught up in the details and feelings or, conversely, be very direct but miss the subtle nuances of the situation. Embracing and honoring both these energies is like a marriage within yourself, embodying a loving, functional, healthy relationship.

Embracing and honoring both these energies is like a marriage within yourself, embodying a loving, functional, healthy relationship.

Sometimes, life problems highlight the imbalance within us—perhaps you've suppressed your masculine side because of societal judgments, or perhaps you’ve stifled your feminine side due to emotional wounds. By maturing and integrating both energies, you become nurturing (feminine) and directive (masculine), balanced in intellect and intuition, physicality and emotion. This integration empowers you to approach external challenges from a place of wholeness or holiness.

Balancing Multiple Roles

Consider another scenario: you are an entrepreneur who has transitioned from being an employee to a business owner. You now have employees and face tough decisions regarding finances and business policies, striving to be fair and kind to your employees while making sustainable business decisions. Now you're fulfilling roles of both HR and CEO, friend and leader.

By integrating these roles, acknowledging your desire to be fair to people, and also ensuring that your business grows sustainably, you achieve a balance. Creating a symbolic contract within yourself allows you to fulfill multiple roles effectively. Recognize the parts of you that seek ease and fairness and those that require income and energy.

Inner Alignment and External Success

My point in sharing this today is that you can transform these external challenges by first healing your internal world. When you realize what you truly need or want from a situation and merge it with your internal lessons, you can create a more powerful external world.

Q: What do I really need or want from this?

Conclusion: Embrace the Lessons

My invitation to you is to view the parts of your universe as a grand whole. Embrace the lessons and curriculum the universe or God is providing, as they are tailored to your needs. With the right perspective, you become empowered to create a more beautiful world.

Thank you for reading today. Have a great day and take care!