♟️Strategy - THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF
Why
Grief touches us all—but few are prepared for the emotional spiral that follows a loss. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages offer a map through the darkness, but many people get stuck, unable to move forward. Understanding these stages is the first step to healing. The next is using them as tools for transformation.
“Loss is inevitable. But suffering is optional. When you shift your perception, you change your experience—and grief becomes growth.”
– Tony Robbins
What
The Five Stages of Grief:
- Denial – Shock and numbness that protect us from overwhelming pain.
- Anger – A natural force that gives strength to feel and process.
- Bargaining – A desperate search for meaning and control.
- Depression – A retreat inward; an acknowledgment of the weight of loss.
- Acceptance – A return to life, love, and connection—with new meaning.
Not everyone passes through every stage. They may come in waves or overlap. The key is using each one as a stepping stone toward healing and rediscovery.
Tell me more about the stages >>
- DENIAL – This doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t know that a loved one has died.
- It means that the person is in a state of disbelief, paralyzed by shock or blanketed in numbness.
- Denial and shock help us to survive and to pace our feelings of grief. Typical statements at this stage are: “I can’t believe this.” “Is it possible that I will never see her/him again?”
- ANGER – As the person comes out of Denial, Anger begins to surface.
- The anger can be directed at oneself for not preventing the death, at others or at the dead person himself for not caring for himself better.
- The person may also be angry at God. Anger gives the person strength to survive the pain of the loss. Anger often comes together with feelings of guilt about what could have been done to prevent the death.
- BARGAINING – At this stage people bargain with themselves and with God.
- The thoughts have to do with: “What if…” “If only I…” and the prayers have to do with bargaining with God, making promises and wishing that the reality of the loss would go away.
- DEPRESSION – This is not a sign of “mental illness.”
- It is the appropriate response to a loss. The person withdraws from others and from the world and wonders whether it’s possible to go on living.
- Daily activities become a challenge and others become concerned about the depressed person. But Depression is a necessary stage that clears the way for Growth.
- ACCEPTANCE – This stage is about accepting the reality of the loss. It is about remembering, recollecting and reorganizing.
- The person begins to reconnect with the world and with loved ones and feels the possibility of experiencing love, joy and fulfillment.
- In the intervention with Maggie, you will see Tony Robbins demonstrating how it is possible to move people who have been stuck for many years in the stages of Anger and Depression to the stage of Acceptance and, even more, to a stage of Higher Spirituality – all within an hour’s time.
How
- Ask: What would your loved one want for you now?
- Focus on who you can love today.
- Practice gratitude—it dissolves guilt, anger, and fear.
- Use your body to shift your state: move, breathe, stretch.
- Expand your concept of love—it's not limited to one person. Love given is love experienced.
Example
🟧 Physical
Stand up. Stretch. Breathe deeply into your belly. Let your arms open wide. Try the “Expansion Exercise” from Tony’s intervention with Maggie: physically gesture as if you’re sending love outward, then receive it back into your heart. This shifts your emotional state from contraction to openness.
🟦 Intellectual
Journal responses to these prompts:
- “What would my loved one want me to feel and do with my life?”
- “What limiting beliefs about love and loss am I holding onto?”
- “What can I do to create meaning out of this pain?”
🟢 Social
Identify one person in your life today who could receive your love. Send them a message, give them a hug, or simply sit and be present with them. Love is a flow, and by giving it, you experience it.
🔴 Spiritual
Sit quietly. Close your eyes. Imagine your loved one’s spirit with you—not gone, but expanded. Ask their spirit: “What is your wish for me?” Then imagine sending your love to them, and feel it echo back. This connection can become a source of peace and direction.
Resources
- "On Grief and Grieving" by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler
- Tony Robbins: Intervention with Maggie (RMT Course video)
- “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk (for body-emotion connection)
Grief is not a life sentence—it’s an invitation.
With the right mindset, it can lead us not only to healing but to deeper purpose, connection, and spiritual richness.
Let your love grow. Let your life open again.
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