Ⓜ️ Model - The 3 Levels of Relationships

Why

Understanding relationship dynamics helps deepen connections and create fulfilling partnerships.

What

A model defining three levels of relationships, from self-centered to deeply connected, fostering love, passion, and mutual fulfillment.

The Model

1️⃣ Level One: Me-Centric (Selfish Love)

"It's all about Me"

• Level 1 - "It's all about me." This is the most basic, selfish level, where each partner is solely focused on getting their own needs met, often through manipulation and control.
• Focus: Personal needs and control.
• Characteristics:
  • Fragile, prone to conflict.
  • Love comes with strings attached.
  • Trust and togetherness erode.
  • Actions based on fairness and barter rather than genuine care.

2️⃣ Level Two: Partnership (Mutual Consideration)

"Horse Trading"

• Level 2 - Partnership with consideration. At this level, partners make an effort to meet each other's needs, but there is still an underlying fear of losing control or not getting their fair share.
• Focus: Balance between independence and fairness.
• Characteristics:
  • "You get yours, I get mine" mentality.
  • Can create distance and sexual neutrality.
  • Lacks deep passion and inspiration.
  • Danger of reverting to Level One selfishness.

3️⃣ Level Three: Mutual Needs (Unconditional Love)

"You Come First, My Love"

• Level 3 - "Your needs are my needs." This is the highest level, where partners are fully committed to fulfilling each other's needs, no matter what. There is a deep sense of trust, vulnerability, and a desire to see the other person thrive.
• Focus: Prioritizing each other’s happiness and fulfillment.
• Characteristics:
  • Partners serve each other’s needs spontaneously.
  • Deep understanding and trust.
  • Passion flows naturally.
  • Allows for full self-expression and emotional depth.

Key Insight

• The goal is to move towards Level Three, where love, passion, and trust thrive without expectation of repayment.
• Relationships require conscious effort to grow beyond transactional dynamics into deep emotional connection.

The key tools that enable transformation:

1. Honest self-assessment: Identifying the level at which you and your partner are currently operating, and the beliefs and role models that are shaping those behaviors.

Reflect on which level you are currently operating at
in your relationship and why

Assess where your partner is currently operating from and why

2. Commitment to putting your partner first: A willingness to let go of your own ego and agenda, and to focus on fulfilling your partner's needs.

Commit to making changes to transition the relationship to level three by putting your partner first

3. Cultivating new role models and identities: Embracing the qualities and mindsets that will support the kind of relationship you want to create.

4. Courage and vulnerability: Having the bravery to be honest about your feelings, needs, and desires, even when it's uncomfortable.

5. Consistent action: Putting these principles into practice every day, through small gestures, acts of service, and a renewed sense of passion and intimacy.

The journey from selfish to selfless love is not an easy one, but the rewards are immense. By embracing these tools and committing to a Level 3 relationship, you too can rediscover the magic and passion that first brought you and your partner together. It's time to stop settling and start thriving.