Ⓜ️ Model - Learned Helplessness - (The 3 P's)
Why?
Learned helplessness explains why people sometimes believe they have no control over their circumstances, even when they do. Repeated setbacks or uncontrollable situations can cause individuals to stop trying, even when solutions exist.
This is crucial for coaches: When clients feel "stuck" due to past experiences or limiting beliefs, understanding learned helplessness helps them move forward.
Why It Matters for Coaches:
- Identify Limiting Beliefs – Recognize when clients feel nothing will change and help them shift their perspective.
- Build Resilience and Self-Efficacy – Encourage small, achievable goals to rebuild confidence.
- Foster a Growth Mindset – Teach clients to see challenges as temporary and learning opportunities.
"The only thing keeping you from achieving what you want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can’t have it." - Tony
"No problem is permanent; only your soul is permanent." - Tony
What is Learned Helplessness?
Dr. Martin Seligman coined the phrase “Learned Helplessness”
to describe people who believe that they have no control over their life.
Learned helplessness is a mindset where people, after facing repeated setbacks, begin to believe they are powerless—even when they are not. This belief can trap individuals in a cycle of inaction, preventing growth, opportunity, and fulfillment.
The 3 P’s of Suffering:
- Permanence – Believing the problem will last forever.
- Pervasiveness – Seeing one problem as affecting all aspects of life.
- Personalization – Internalizing the problem as a personal failure.
Tony emphasizes that these beliefs must be annihilated:
- “Nothing is forever. Everything changes.”
- “Don’t let one problem define your entire life.”
- “You are not the problem—you are greater than your circumstances.”
Tell me more...
- PERMANENCE – Have you ever felt like your problems will never go away?
- Number one, you think the problem is permanent.
- Once you believe that a problem is permanent, you tighten a noose around the neck of happiness. Once you've had enough disappointment, sometimes your brain doesn't want to get disappointed. So it's a permanent problem. Please write down no problem is permanent. Only your soul is permanent. Nothing's forever everything changes. Everything eventually ends and something new begins. That's part of life. Those are the seasons of life.
- 2. PERVASIVE – Has one problem ever dominated your life so much that it feels like your life is the problem?
- You are suffering because you’ve spread that problem into every area of your life.
- The second key that keeps people learn helplessness so they don't change this beliefs got to be annihilated, broken through events pervasive that means that because my relationships not great, my whole life was horrible. And you're forgetting you do have health or you do have friends or you do have a job or you do have whatever I can breathe.
- 3. PERSONAL – Have you ever made “your problem” yourself?
- It’s easy to feel trapped when the problem is internalized.
- And the third one is we think the problem is personal. There's something wrong with me and if you start believing that it becomes self fulfilling you give up see I'm not good enough. I look beautiful enough. I'm not smart enough. I always screw it up.
- So those three P's gotta be destroyed.
- There's three P's that you got to annihilate, crush or destroy. If they're getting in the way of your progress and a relationship or your career, or your happiness or your health. These are the three P's that make learned helplessness number one, you think the problem is permanent
How to Break Free:
Rewriting the Story: The stories we tell ourselves either trap us or empower us. As a coach, you can help clients rewrite their narratives and take action.
Tools for Coaches:
#Physical 🟧
- Action & Routine: Encourage small, consistent actions to rebuild confidence.
- Tangible Wins: Set achievable goals that bring visible results.
#Intellectual 🟦
- Identify Limiting Beliefs: Help clients recognize and challenge negative self-talk.
- Reframe Failures: View setbacks as lessons, not barriers.
#Social 🟢
- Build a Supportive Network: Encourage connections with mentors or groups that affirm their abilities.
- Encourage Contribution: Helping others reinforces personal strength and value.
#Spiritual 🟥
- Align with Purpose: Connect clients with a higher vision beyond their immediate struggles.
- Visualization & Intention: Guide clients to picture a future where they have overcome obstacles.
Example:
Imagine a client who believes they will never succeed in business because they’ve faced multiple failures. A coach can help by:
- Challenging the idea that failure is permanent (Permanence).
- Separating business struggles from their overall self-worth (Pervasiveness).
- Helping them see that failure doesn’t define their identity (Personalization).
By taking small, strategic steps toward a new opportunity, they regain confidence and control.
Resources:
- Book: Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman
- Live Sessions: Sept 5, 2024
- Video: Tony Robbins on Learned Helplessness
Learned Optimism
Martin Seligman on the topic of learned helplessness
"Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life."
Final Takeaway:
Learned helplessness is a powerful barrier, but it’s not unbreakable. By rewriting our stories and taking action, we shift from suffering to empowerment. As Tony says:
“Change is inevitable. Progress is optional.”
Member discussion