I've been journaling for years. Tonight, I realized yet again how blind I am to my failures and shortcomings. I over complicate things, I spend too much time analyzing and thinking and not enough time, serving, doing, and building.
When I say this, it isn't a problem of me being lazy or not spending my time doing things in life.
The real problem is...
Well I'm not exactly sure how to articulate it... but I sense it, I feel it.
Have you ever stood in the mirror and wondered what am I doing? What purpose do I serve on this planet? Somewhere behind all those wounds, stress, distractions, and busy work, a soul is aching or needing something.
We try to fill it with work, accomplishments, hobbies, people, our phone, the social media, the book, the research, the project, the friend, and yet...
And that's exactly where and when we start to see we are blind.
It's what wasn't said.
Have you ever recalled a teacher, a professor, a sermon, a heart to heart and years later, you suddenly realize the value of what they were talking about. Maybe it's not really them that's speaking but the Universe, you know God speaking to you saying something you just hadn't hear before.
I once told my Dad what I learned from him and he didn't attribute it to what he told me. Then it hit me. God taught me this principle through the interaction I had with my Dad. It's what wasn't said that did the talking.
Someone once said:
Coincidences are just miracles performed by God anonymously.
Today while reviewing my journal and reflecting about my emotional hang-ups, my shortcomings and my lessons learned I'm starting to see the patterns quite clearly now. Yet I still feel like I'm not making much of a dent on really transforming my life. I see and hear about so many stories online of people dramatically transforming their lives. I see people like Tony Robbins and various other internet stars making huge transformations and making a substantial impact in the world.
You see, none of them really matter in the context of my growth, of my learning and my journey. Yes, I want them to have joy and success. The real thing I'm looking for is the growth in my life, the growth in my family's life, the growth in my kid's life.
I was staring at my journal and realized the thing that hadn't been typed and hadn't been said. "What am I doing with my life? And when am I going to stop playing small?"
"Knowledge carefully recorded is knowledge available in time of need.
You see two sentences of my stark realization just doesn't seem very flashy, it's not spectacular, it doesn't change global politics, it doesn't cure cancer, and it isn't likely to make much of a difference to anyone else's life. The thing is that realization took me so many experiences and so much of struggle and success to finally make "the click" and connect the dots.
Have you ever felt like that?
Waiting, working, wondering when am I going to get it? When is the realization going to come.
Journaling has saved my butt. It helps me see the patterns and make realizations.
A History of my Grandma
Knowledge of our family shapes us and instills within us values that give direction and meaning to our lives."
My grandmother authored a book the size of a novel. She detailed her families growing up life. The perspective it gives me is profound. Look how far we've come. Look how long it took her father to start an incredibly successful business. For 10 years it was slow going. It was not very glorious. Look at what it was like to live through the great depression.
You see when you start to see the contrasts of other people's lives, you start to see your own contrasts in a better light - generally speaking.
Plus, family isn't cable news. It's not YouTube. These people impacted where and how our life is lived. These people I know. And Yet... how well do I know them. It's like getting to know my grandma all over again. And that's what journaling does for us, doesn't it? Journaling helps us get to know ourselves all over again.
- Dignifies events, strengthens one's sense of self worth
- Puts our life in better balance
- Helps us reconcile peaks and valleys in life
"Your triumphs over adversity, your recovery after a fall, your progress when all seemed black, your rejoicing when you had finally achieved?"
So starting this website is my first step and attempt in saying I'm no longer going to play small. I'm going to take a risk and build a movement that will change the world. However great or small my wave is, I hope it's one of goodness, truth, coherence and helps people appreciate and live the values we cherish and those before us. The values taught cherished by us, the ones that lead to meaningful and useful lives.
Someone once said:
Do NOT play small, share your true thoughts
Personal journaling can invite incredible insights
Q: Do you keep a useful record of your journey?
Q: Are you recognizing the patterns in your life? Or do you end up resorting to other people doing that for you?
Q: What could you do differently to slow down and start to see what's not being said that needs to be asked?
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